Wednesday 6 February 2013

Writing and "Getting Over It"

I have found over the last few weeks and months while writing this blog it has become almost a kind of therapy for me.

When I was going through cancer treatments a lot of people told me they kept a journal of what they were going through, and I really couldn't understand why. Why would you ever want to go back and read about something that for me, was the worst part of my life, by quite a long shot. The physical pain was unreal and the mental stress extremely taxing. Why would you ever want to revisit that? So I buried it deep down. But I have come to the realization that I never dealt with it.

While I was sick, it was easy to push the emotional side of things out of the picture. I was in pain all the time and that took the forefront. When I got better, it kind of came to the surface and I didn't really know how to deal with it. I have tried different types of counseling but I still have not found one person that I am really comfortable talking about it all too. And i think that is just part of the process.

Writing has helped me in this regards. I can just write down what I am thinking and if nothing else get it off my chest. I can "put it out there" for the world to respond as it sees fit. My concerns and stresses began to get so intense, and I had no outlet. Writing is my outlet. I can deal and describe things as I see them, and in my own time with no rush. I can even edit them if I so choose!

For me, blogging and seeing other peoples blogs (survivors, patients, care givers) I see now that a lot of what I went through is normal, and there is support. Maybe most importantly I saw I wasn't alone.

I don't often look back at old posts, but sometimes I do. I like that I can look back and say to myself and see that one particular day of stress is behind me at least. The problem may still be there but I have acknowledged it. Writing allows me to acknowledge and concerns or fears I have, and if I choose make it public or make it private. It is helping move in a direction where I can "get over it".

I understand the journals now.

2 comments:

  1. :) Journals are wonderful things, eh? They just listen and listen. It's such a good thing to write it out - empty all those emotions. Thanks for this post and explaining your approach to reading other people’s blogs and writing your own. It aligns with what I've been hearing lately, and reinforces my belief in the cathartic power of writing. ~Catherine

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  2. hi Eamonn - just learned about your blog. Thank you for all of this - for the perspective it offers on all of your experience, which informs me in so many ways.

    I particulary love 'Being Proud of my Body'.

    Sending good vibes from the other coast! love, Kathleen

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